My azizam Amin jon,
I want to put in writing how your departure to realm beyond has changed my life.
In life, we witness so many things happen to the people around us. Lots of changes, surprises, accidents, successes, falls or sometimes we even see unbelievable moments that it is not for us, it is usually for others. Then suddenly out of nowhere something happens and we become one of those others. I have realized that in life no one is exempt and no one is immune. Anything at any time could happen to anyone. Since you have left us I do look through life differently. The meaning of life has changed for me. The purpose of life has changed for me. Even my prayers to God and the way I commune with God have changed for me.
My dear son, it was not our plan in this life for you go to the land of mystery ahead of us. This Godly plan was arranged for us and I have accepted this arrangement with absolute humility because I do believe there is a reason behind anything comes from the Almighty. Your departure has opened my eyes to a different world and this new world is precious because you are the one who brought it to me. Anything from you is priceless for me. Now I know life is so fragile, unpredictable and full of surprises and challenges. Life has reminded me in a rough way that I have to be armed by faith to be able to survive throughout the storms of unpleasant events. Since your departure I have felt the assistance of Baha’u’llah in a way that I have never felt it before. I truly feel that I am not left out by myself . An invisible force has assisted me from the first moment I heard about your news till now. It was truly impossible for me to get to this point just by myself. Occasionally we feel if we are so determined we are able to overcome any challenges and move forward. What an empty thought. Without His assistance and His grace we are not able to go forward even one step.
I have noticed since your absence the most repeated words for me has been “My God”. Whenever I want to escape from my sorrows I indeed get the security just by calling Him. It is like a child who is looking for comfort and being in need of getting refuge to the arms of their parents. After October 6th 2012 my life has changed profoundly. As a mother I am dying to know where did go and how are you doing and what has happened to you. I am extremely fascinated by life after this life. The life and the world that Baha’u’llah has promised us is much better than earthly life. I am happy for you to be in a better place but as a mother I do miss you so very much.
My dearest son, when I write to you I feel your presence and it gives me great comfort and patience. I look forward to a day that I can see you and hold you in my arms.
Love you always,
Mom
Farnazeh jan, you are an amazing human being,
As a mother who has lost his dearest son, a son who was such a magnificent person in every sense of the word, and knowing that you wont see him anymore at least until your earthly departure, you are taking this very heart breaking circumstance with such elegance, faith and humility that I have to bow to you. I cannot console you, I cannot comfort you, and I cannot give solace to your soul and broken heart. I only hope that time and prayers will help you feel somehow better each day and that Amin jan, wherever he might be or whatever he might be doing, he will assist you.
With my deepest love to you and Shidfar jan with whom I have just spoken on the phone. You are both in my heart always and for ever.
Vida